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The Holidays: Softening from Expectations to Blessings

The holidays have gotten considerably more casual as I have gotten older, especially this year. I think I put a dress and heels for Easter this year just so I could walk around my house seemingly put together. It is a surprising realization that not everybody has treated the holidays as an opportunity to put your best foot forward. I remember celebrating Christmas at home as a child, having an hour to relish in the morning, eat and get ready because we were out the door to both grandparent’s houses. I remember it feeling like a long day; just so we could come home and crash. I swore off tights as a kid because I remember how uncomfortable walking around with a sagging crotch all day really bothered felt. It was not ladylike to tug and pull and it was not ladylike to just take them off.

            We live our lives by expectations. This is what I am supposed to do because this is always the way it has been done… If I do not do it then…. Our kids will be scarred for life if we do not. I just wanted to take a moment for you to lean into what it is that you want. How many of you still disappoint your family even when you do what you thought they wanted you to do? You are getting distracted by the big dinners, platters of food, and never ending schedule but this year has really got me thinking about making decisions in the current moment for what is best for me and my family. This year has especially taught me that the people you thought you were on the same page with before may not agree with many of the things you are doing now. According to the media, you cannot still be friends but according to me, it shows that two wonderful people can put the needs of their family first and be respected for it.

            Your spouse, family, kids, and friends will all want to do what feels the easiest and least stressful. I was lucky enough to have both sets of grandparents alive for the first 12 years of life but without a doubt, one set was far more fun, far less stressful, and far easier to casually stop by to visit. It would make sense that on Christmas when both grandparent’s houses were on the agenda that you secretly hoped one would be a stopover and one would be a permanent landing spot for the day. Make it easy and relaxed for those you want to include on the holidays, or my recommendation do not host the event, etc. We micromanage the holidays because we are secretly trying to be in control and get approval from others. I just want to encourage you to LET GO AND LET GOD. Let family time, stress-free mornings, and profound joy for what Christmas really means be the focus of your holiday season.

            The meaning we are attaching to gifts and opulence are misdirected. People want to know that they are loved and prayed for. Find new, smaller ways to extend gestures. We had mugs monogrammed for our office staff to enjoy all year. Nothing outlandish but was personalized- shows we care. I sent Thanksgiving cards to those that were spending it by themselves. You do not need outlandish when it comes from the heart.

            Merry Christmas to all of you! May the end of 2020 and the anticipation of 2021 help draw you closer to the Lord and his promises.

Winter vegetables

“Do your children eat their vegetables?”. I am happy to report in our house the answer is YES! Thankfully they love all vegetables. However, if you asked me if my husband eats enough vegetables, I would have to say the struggle is real! There were many things he had not tried in his life until we got married and I began cooking. Growing up for me we ate everything, this has turned out to be a blessing. This has allowed me to share so much goodness with my family.

Winter is an important time for you to be consistent with your intake of veggies. In Michigan, it is easy for us to fall off the veggie wagon during the winter. We are so blessed all summer and fall long with fresh veggie choices. How do we then keep this going into the winter months?

To me the answer is simple, FALL IN LOVE WITH WINTER VEGGIES! Winter veggies warm the body, keep it nourished, and are so tasty. Eating vegetables, especially in the winter helps you to maintain a healthy immune system, improve your overall bone strength, improve eye health, prevent cancer, and increase your metabolism, just to name a few. Just think about Popeye and his big muscles, he ate his spinach all year long! Winter vegetables are also great for improving brain function, conception, and boosting energy. Kale, broccoli, spinach, cabbage, and many other leafy greens all aide in providing long lasting benefits to your body and moods.

So how do you get your children, your spouse, and other family members to eat more vegetables? For those who have difficulty consuming spinach or other leafy greens, simply add these to protein shakes, salads, soups, and even pasta dishes. At breakfast, saute a little spinach and add it to your scrambled eggs.

At our house, I make minestrone soup once a week during the winter. This soup is full of carrots, celery, swiss chard, beans, zucchini, and tomatoes. Without even knowing it they have just consumed a bowl full of goodness! Cooking this in advance and refrigerating it offers a quick lunch option that you can eat at home or take to work and heat up!

We also add spinach and other leafy greens to our protein shakes. The kids don’t even see me adding this and therefore notice no change in taste. At dinner, we love roasted vegetables such as acorn squash, butternut squash, and sweet potatoes. The beauty of these vegetables is that they taste great without adding an additional flavor. Simply cook them at 350 degrees in the oven for a bit provides all the flavor you need!

Now, more than ever it is important for us to stay consistent with our eating habits. Eating a well-balanced diet, full of fruits vegetables and healthy grains will be the best protection you can have against winter colds and flu. Fuel your body with goodness and it will fuel you back!

So, this week I challenge you to grocery shop the produce department! Find the kale, spinach, broccoli, sweet potatoes, and squash. Find ways to incorporate these amazing treats into your breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Your body will thank you!

2020: Jesus, Bad Habits and a SunLamp

This year has awoken a lot of things for people, both internally and externally. First, how are you doing? I, very kindly, say that most of the issues that were magnified during corona were issues before that weren’t challenging enough yet to tackle and pivot. Responsible handling of money (not spending more than you have budgeted) and poor boundary setting (has overtaken my doer friends out there who never ask for help) seem to be two of the biggest. This year has hopefully re-grounded, re-shaped and brought us back closer to Jesus and his promises. I spoke to a friend who is literally clinging to Jesus with her life circumstances causing hardship and she said, “I used to throw my time in with God after my chaotic day of managing earthly tasks and I’ve realized my days need to be focused on him and tackle my less important earthly tasks around that time”. Sitting with Jesus is becoming another task rather than the sole reason we continue to lean into his promises. It finally just dawned on me that able bodied, kind-hearted people are still called to suffer in the bible. We can rest assured that our earthly suffering is welcomed with the promise of eternal life. I joked with Jamie that there are so many blessings that I never in a million years would have been able to experience this year if we hadn’t been in a pandemic. SO. MANY. BLESSINGS. With that said, what a cluster of a year.

One of the areas that is either spot on this year or completely off balance in people’s lives are healthy lifestyles choices. One of my biggest wins while home this year was keeping the junk food that I would binge on during the rough days OUT OF MY HOUSE. I didn’t consume one drop of alcohol while we were shut down and managed to continue to meal prep.  So… fancy for me, right??? Even with the good food, the daily walks and keeping myself on a schedule- the mental fortitude of grace and trust was still overwhelming on most days. If you were not me during the shut down and you found yourself leaning into food, alcohol and couch time, you are not alone! I have friends who take pride in the amount of alcohol consumed and how 8am seemed like a perfect time for a cocktail! We all coped different through this year, but I do want to firmly plant that we all should and need to put a better foot forward for our own personal accountability. Your greatness depends on it!

One of the biggest frustrations as a doctor and as someone fielding through everything like everyone else is this idea that we have no control over how we come out of 2020 and beyond. Now may not be the time to work toward your dream health but I want to plant the seed that how you do one thing, is how you do everything. No one needs to give you permission to claim your mental, physical and emotional health- you claim it, you take it and you own it day in and day out. That is how we come out of the other side- we know that our actions on a daily basis ultimately determine the caliber to which we get to live our life. Being congruent with who you are and what you want requires alignment. For example, you want to be the best mom/volunteer/worker but you also have poor sleep habits, you take poor care of yourself (whatever that looks like) and you have no plan to get to a better place. Can you see how being out of alignment with what you want and what you are doing go hand in hand? Your co-workers, children, spouses look to you- you must be an example. That is how we reduce the anxiety- we start doing for ourselves and leading by example rather than waiting for our world to determine your next steps. Even if that means setting better boundaries, shutting your bedroom door and going to bed early. More is not always better, but consistency always, always wins!

I’ve found 2 passive ways that have improved my day to day that do not require a minute more of your time or energy. We have to start at the basement and work our way up the stairs. Not to mention, we are going into a second shut down (at least in Michigan) with it getting dark at 5pm and the roads starting to get slick. Now is the time to say no more to having no control over how you feel and show up every day. First one is the grounding mat (earthing.com) that Jamie reviewed in our newsletter and the second is a sunlamp. One of the reasons I wanted to focus on these is because of a recurring concern of need to continue to buy (supplements, Chiropractic, massage, acupuncture)- this is a one time buy and second- limited or no time. Although I believe your health goes far beyond a sunlamp and grounding mat- neither of these have barriers to make that initial step forward. I put my grounding mat under my sheets so I reap the benefits when I sleep and I turn the sunlamp on in the morning for a half hour when I’m doing dishes, folding laundry, checking emails.. etc etc etc. Your kids and your spouse can share in the fun as well.

If you want to know all of the reviews on the grounding mat, see Jamie’s thoughts (Insert link to Jamie’s thoughts) but I did want to touch on the sunlamp. I’ve been a skeptic because it can’t possibly be so easy as to sit in front of something you plug in and have it make dramatic improvements. But I will swallow my pride and tell you that it has helped me (even with all the other healthy choices I make). I had to go back and re-read one of my previous blog posts on small tweaks and remind myself that sometimes big leaps are small steps when we put our ego aside. How could I discount a $60 sunlamp- the potential benefits far out way the ego trip I was taking. Why not try it- worst thing that could happen is it gets added to my daily routine of wonderfulness to keep me doing what I need to show up for you and my patients.

Boundaries – are they necessary?

Who would have thought that we would want to discuss boundaries in 2020? Haven’t we had enough “boundaries” placed on us already?

Thankfully, those are not the type of boundaries I want to discuss on this post. I want to you to think about those boundaries that improve our physical and mental health. I find boundaries to be both important and sometimes frustrating in my own life. I set them for my children out of love and protection, things in our home are off limits due to the danger they can pose. As we grow older it becomes more and more difficult for us to create boundaries around things in our life that we need to limit. These could include limiting the time spent working, on social media, or even the time spent working out or time spent with others. A few years back I was really wanting to train for a full marathon, I had to take a hard look at how the time I would spend training would affect my young family, I opted not to take that time away. I am not suggesting that you don’t train for a marathon, I am simply suggesting that you weigh how that new commitment would affect your current lifestyle.

When was the last time you took an inventory of how you spent your time? If it has been a while I suggest logging your daily activity, in fact, start tomorrow! Log everything – what do you do when you first wake up, before you even get out of bed, whatever it is write it down. What do you do at 1pm? 3pm? You will be amazed to see how you spend your time. I have spent time doing this over the past few years and have found that I am spending time doing things that do not bring me joy, or are not edifying to my day, therefore I place a boundary around them. I decided to limit the time I spend on social media, nothing can bring you down faster than seeing fabulously edited and filtered photos of people living their very “best” life. (insert my sarcasm) In all seriousness when you feel worse after participating in social media then you know it is time to limit your exposure. If you find that you are totally consumed by work and unable to participate in other areas of your life, set a limit. Stop responding to emails after a certain time of night, stop taking calls, it will all be there in the morning.

So if we can limit our actions can we limit our interactions with others? Yes, we can but we tend not to. Why do we find it so hard to break away from those that steal our joy? As harsh as it sounds, a few years back, I decide to take inventory of those in my life. Do they bring me joy? Are they edifying? Do I leave feeling drained after our time together? If I could answer two nos’ and a yes then I had to create a boundary around that relationship and that’s ok! With the holidays approaching quickly this would be a great time to take a mental inventory, if attending that dinner will steal your joy, simply say no! If you feel drained after that particular conversation know that next time you only spend a few minutes on the phone.

Power is found in the choices we make – how we spend our time and who we spend our time with. Take the power back this year, your mental and physical health demand it! We have the power to chose, this year and always! Make the end to 2020 a memorable one by making the changes necessary to make 2021 the best year yet!

For more tips on giving your best yes, check out our blog post on the The Best Yes!

Getting Grounded has never been so good!

When was the last time you were grounded? For me, it was sometime in my teens, although it doesn’t sound so bad right now to be sent to my room all alone, not only could I use the break but I could use the time to reconnect! As much as I like to joke, I am not talking about actually being grounded as in terms of a punishment but as a way to reconnect your body the earth.

Grounding, also commonly known earthing, is a therapeutic technique that involves doing activities that “ground” or electrically reconnect you to the earth. This practice relies on earthing science and grounding physics to explain how electrical charges from the earth can have positive effects on your body.

I have researched and read about the positive effects of grounding or earthing for the last few years but as most things in my life this took a back seat to raising my family. Recently, I have been feeling the effects of stress, who hasn’t, it is 2020 after all. So I decided to revisit my research on earthing and was reminded that connecting to the earth’s natural energy is essential for vibrant health. Reconnection with the Earth’s electrons has been found to promote intriguing physiological changes, these include better sleep, reduced inflammation, less stress and reduced pain. Connecting with the earth can be done in many ways. You can walk barefoot outside or sitting, working, or sleeping indoors be connected to conductive systems that transfer the Earth’s electrons from the ground into the body. With winter fast approaching here in Michigan and my aversion to walking barefoot outside I decided to bite the bullet and purchase two grounding mats.

As many of you know I am usually an all in type of person, buy it all and start it all immediately. I shocked myself this time and purchased the least amount of product for a reasonable price. I would have rushed in and bought grounding sheets, mats, car adapters, you name it, I would have grabbed it. This time was different, I truly wanted to see how my body and the bodies of my family members would react to grounding. So last week Wednesday our package from Earthing arrived. I opted for their two universal grounding mat package for $89. The moment they arrived I dove right, reading the instructions and thinking about where I would put them. We began in the family room, kids had to go first, they sat waiting for a reaction from the mat. What would happen they wondered? My daughter, Olivia, reported some tingling and my son, Stephen, said nothing happened and soon jumped off. Olivia shared with me that she felt more relaxed after sitting for about 20 minutes and asked me to purchase her own mat, apples don’t fall far. Stephen seemed unamused the first day but on the second day he sat for about 15 minutes, said he felt nothing but I noticed an immediate calm about him. He was able to relax that night and get a good night sleep.

Once everyone was fast asleep I took the mat to my bedroom, placed it on my bed, plugged it in and sat down. Immediately my body began to tingle and relax. My neurons must have really needed a realignment! That night I slept as if I had never slept before, overnight I didn’t wake up one time and when the alarm went off I felt like I had slept for days. For the past week I have noticed, better more restful sleep, less stress and less inflammation in my body. I can feel a change in my body already! Let’s say that I have the grounding sheets on my Christmas list!

Disclaimer: The links in this post are not affiliate links. Growing in Grace will not make any money recommending this product, this is simply one we tried and love.